The toll on the body...

Let's not lie to ourselves. We're "older parents" and our bodies are no longer in prime condition for raising youngsters. I don't care what your BMI is - age is taking its toll, and I am willing to bet money you are feeling it.

This is, of course, more true the older you are when you become that older parent. With my first, I was 35 and did not appear to suffer any ill effects due to my age, other than developing a chronic pain in one knee from kneeling down on the bathroom floor without proper cushioning while bathing her. That can happen to anyone, but as I have always been one who doesn't mind getting down on the floor with kids and animals, it was a bit of a surprise.

Fast forward nine years. I'm 44 and have just given birth to twin boys. "But Heather," you say,"twins alone, are going to take more of a toll on you." True. Yet, I can see the signs of aging at work clearly. That knee? While better, it still wants to freeze up on me every so often. I'm nowhere near as limber as I was before, either. But there is more.

At 49, I now wear bifocals instead of normal glasses. Frustrating, especially when you have a preschooler trying to show you his latest artwork (they always want to put the paper right up to your nose - why is that?). My eyes are drying, a natural result of aging, and I now need to use artificial tears multiple times a day. I have a couple of friends developing arthritis, and I'm noticing that one of my fingers, too, hurts regularly at the joint. Bruising is happening easier and lasting longer, something I've previously noticed with older friends of mine. I'm rapidly approaching menopause, which is causing my hormones to fluctuate as badly as those of my 14-year old daughter, and also affecting my sleep patterns.

Is this affecting how I raise my children?

Let's start with those eyes. It's not just a matter of having Bobby stick his latest masterpiece right in my face. It's being able to quickly change my field of vision from the story I'm reading to Bobby to the view of Carl attempting to climb a bookcase across the room. It's also discerning the fine detail on the screen of Grace's handheld game system when she wants to show me how a scene is playing out. I find myself wanting to grab the game system out of her hands to get a closer view. For the dry eyes, I go into hiding to apply the drops - I have developed a healthy fear that one of the boys will pounce from behind and I'll take an eyedropper in the cornea.

The hand pain? Could be a hairline fracture in my finger bone(s) due to rough treatment since the boys were old enough to grasp and twist. I can't tell you how many times I've had individual fingers yanked at funny angles. I've also pounded my fist on the kitchen table a few times as if it was a gavel, trying to get the attention of the brood. Still, I've noticed that it isn't just my right (dominant) hand that hurts. All my fingers are feeling it in the joints, if only just a touch. My feet, too, on occasion. Amazingly, that knee is not suffering. I think it just likes to act up randomly to remind me I'm not a 20-something any more. I am much less likely to get on the floor and play with the boys than I was with Grace, which disappoints them to no end.

Bruises? Well, let's just say that with two very active little boys, you are going to get bruised - a lot. Age is only a factor in that a bruise that used to last a week or so now last a month, and tends to get larger than before. At any given time, I'm sporting at least four bruises on my body. More if I've been roughhousing with them.

I won't even go into how the whole hormone thing influences my interactions with my children. That subject deserves a whole blog entry of its own.

How do you see age affecting your parenting?  Or is it not?